I need a carabiner and my friend hands me one. I open the gate one-handed and clip the carabiner where I need it. Using only muscle-memory, this is easy to do with either hand. Works with every brand.
I need a locking carabiner, and my friend hands me one. I spin the sleeve the left with my thumb, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and spin the sleeve closed. Using only muscle-memory, this is easy to do with either hand. Works with almost every brand - almost.
I need a locking carabiner, and my A-hole "friend" hands me a reverse locker. $%^^&! The sleeve turns down to lock at the gate hinge. WTF? Who invented this thing? Muscle-memory does the opposite of what I want. Thankfully I pay attention and catch this before something unpleasant happenes.
I need a locking carabiner, and my friend hands me one. I move the dumb-hickey blocking access to the gate aside. Now I easily spin the sleeve to the left with my thumb, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, spin the sleeve closed, and swing the dumb-hickey back in place.
I need a locking carabiner, and my friend hands me one. This dumb-hickey pivots on the gate and locks on the spine. I unlock it and it whips open by itself. This time the dumb-hickey is the the sleeve. I open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and swing the dumb-hickey back in place.
I need a locking carabiner, and a stranger hands me one. I lift the sleeve against spring pressure, turn it a half turn left, let the spring push the sleeve down to the unlocked position, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, lift the sleeve, turn it a half turn right, and finally after all the effort, let the spring push the sleeve down to the locked position. Simple, only eight steps that anyone can memorize.
I need a locking carabiner, and my friend hands me one. I easily spin the sleeve with my thumb The sleeve turns both ways and nothing happens. Forget turning. I pull the sleeve down with my thumb. Now I can open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a secure carabiner and my friend hands me one. Damn! This thing has two gates. I open the outer gate with my thumb and use the object that I am clipping into to force the inner gate open. This lets me put the carabiner where I need it.
I need a secure carabiner and my stoner friend hands me one. AC/DC, this gate swings both ways. I bend the springs upward and the bottom of the gate opens. I put the bottom where I need it. I bend the springs downward and the top of the gate opens. The springs jams with mud from my hands so I clean them and get the gate to close, even though it isn't attached to anything except the springs.
Several self-appointed Safety Nazis arrived, boxed me in, ranted against "undesirables," shouted their their auto-locking propaganda, and passed laws mandating auto-locking compliance.
I need a carabiner, and a self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. I turn the sleeve a quarter turn to the left with my thumb, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left. I push the hidden button then give the sleeve a quarter turn to the left, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left. I lift the sleeve and give it a quarter turn to the left, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left. I lift the sleeve before it will turn. I turn the sleeve a quarter turn to the left, and it stays there. I open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left. I lift the sleeve before it will turn. I turn the sleeve a quarter turn to the left. Moving a lever inside the carabiner downward, I open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left far enough to open. I turn the sleeve a twelfth of a turn, lift the sleeve, and then continue turning another sixth of a turn. Now I can open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. The sleeve will not turn to the left and I cannot lift it. I pull the sleeve down and turn it a quarter turn to the left, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable gadgetry, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. Nothing happens when I turn the sleeve, and it will not move if I try to lift it or pull it down. I turn it a quarter turn to the right, push it up, turn it a quarter turn to the left. Now I can open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. There is no sleeve, just two plastic blocks with arrows on them. The blocks will not move if I try pushing them in the directions the arrows point, nor can I lift the blocks, but the gate unlocks if I do both at the same time. Now I can open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. Wisely, I do not to trust unreliable false "safety" gadgets, so I close and lock the gate myself.
I need a carabiner, and another self-appointed Safety Nazi hands me an auto-locker. Damn! This thing has a wire gate lock to lock the gate. I open the inner wire gate lock with my middle finger, use my thumb to open the outer gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. The automatic locking "safety" feature fails because of mud. After a few moments clearing mud with a toothbrush, the wire gate lock can engage the hook on the rear of the real gate. I close the gates.
I chased the Safety Nazis away.
I need a locking carabiner, and my strange friend hands me one. No sleeve, but I find a tiny button, pull it down with my thumb, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. Today I am using a clean rope, and the carabiner auto-locks. I double-check, because I will not trust this to happen when I get into some cave mud.
I need a locking carabiner, and my weird friend hands me one. No sleeve, but I find a tiny button. This one is down in a slot where my muddy fingers won't fit. I pull out my tip reamer, push the slider down, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. Today I am using a clean rope, and the carabiner auto-locks. I double-check, because I will not trust this to happen when I get into some cave mud.
I need a locking carabiner, and my bizare friend hands me one. No sleeve, but I there are two obvious buttons. I pinch them, open the gate, clip the carabiner where I need it, and let go. No spriung, just magnets that would go clicky-clicky if everything were clean but are not doing a bloody thing in this filthy hole in the ground.At least the gate is closed.
I need a locking carabiner, and my smart-ass friend hands me one. This one has a three-digit combination lock built in. I manipulate the lock, open the gate, and clip the carabiner where I need it, close the sleeve, and spin the numbers to help keep the sleeve closed.
I need a locking carabiner, and my sadistic friend hands me one. I use an Allen wrench to remove a set screw, which I drop. Now I can open the gate, and clip the carabiner where I need it. I find another set screw in my pack, and use it to lock the gate closed.
Life was simpler back in the days when all locking carabiners worked the same way.
Our sport is now more interesting. Try recognizing which carabiner you have while hanging upside down in a waterfall in total darkness.
© Copyright 2023, 2026 Gary D. Storrick, All Rights Reserved.